Ok girls, we are going to have a serious conversation for a minute. My producer at Mass Appeal asked me to do a segment on plus size fashion. For those of you here in magical New England, you only know me as a happy, chubby jewelry store owner. For the rest of you, you remember a much skinnier model Malena. Many of you have wondered what happened. In a nut shell, I got very ill and my body never recovered.
I went from 145 to 245 in a 2013 due to an illness they still can’t seem to fix. Yes, you read that right. I am now 47 year old and I weigh 245 pounds, and you know what? It’s okay! I’m still alive. I’m still happy and I’m still successful. I have had to learn to accept myself as who I am NOW and stop looking back at my lovely size 6 photos of the past. To be honest, I am actually happier with my life now but looking in the mirror HAS been a struggle. I am healthier than I was at 145-170 because my Hollywood Dr.’s were keeping me thin with questionable treatments. That lead to more illness, not less. So, the moral of the story is, it’s better to be chubby than to kill yourself to be thin. If you are naturally tiny, great! Awesome! But if you are naturally more curvy… liposuction, diet pills, surgery and starvation WILL make you sick or worse. I am a bold example of that.
As women, when we gain weight we tend to hide. I have mastered this skill but hiding is not helpful. When you hide, you are telling yourself you are not worthy of love, attention or self expression. There are people with no limbs, people who can’t see and people who can’t walk. If the only thing we are battling is a truck load of chubbies, we are still very blessed. THIS is what I didn’t understand when I was younger. Now I understand being heavy is not that serious. I will continue to live a healthy lifestyle but if I stay this way forever, I must accept this bigger body and not hate myself. It is my goal for us to learn self acceptance together. Maybe by posting these embarrassing photos, you will see it’s just weight. It doesn’t make me less of a person. It’s hard yes, but we must put being overweight in perspective and give up caring what other people say.
People take cues from YOU about how you want to be treated. If you treat yourself like a leper, what signal are you sending the world? We have a lot to offer. We are women. We are the givers of life. We are the glue that holds our families together. It is time for us to forgive ourselves and stop calling ourselves names like, “Fatties”. If other people call you names, just be aware they DO NOT understand. If they genuinely think you are sitting at home eating yourself to death, well, God bless em, they are idiots! I know first hand that is not true. Not all heavy women are over eaters. So, dress how you want to dress. Do what you want to do and ignore the snarky people. Not all women are genetically thin.
Now for the fashion advice!
I took some photos for you to give examples on what to wear and what to avoid. (Obviously these are not professional photos and they are not meant to be. They are to show people what to wear.) My family helped with this. Both my daughter and my husband were quick to beg me to throw out my “moo moo dresses” and instead wear more fitted outfits. Once I took the photos, the difference was rather stark. All the following photos were taken the same day.
Here is the dreaded moo moo. I loved how comfortable this dress was but they were right. It was too big and just makes me look bigger. I wore this dress alllllll the time for the last 5 years! Time to let it go.
I am an hourglass shape. Hourglasses need to wear fitted clothes because we are big on both ends and little in the middle. See how much better this sweater dress looks? It gives longer lines and smooths out problem areas with the jacket. Hourglasses have flat tummies but have big hips and legs. Wearing hems below the knee are best.
If you have an apple shape, wearing bold patterns on the top will camouflage your middle. Wear fitted skirts and flowy tops. If you like you legs, you can wear shorter skirts to further pull the focus away from your middle.
If you are a pear shape, wear statement jewelry, a V neckline, bright colors on the top and dark colors on the bottom. Flowy skirts and fitted tops work well. Wrap dresses are also great.
We will go over more fashion ideas on the show. There may be more segments on this subject if you ladies like it so be sure to call the station if you enjoy the segment. Sorry to spill my guts on this blog but I thought it was important for you to know, I REALLY DO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. We will get through this and celebrate ourselves in the mean time. One great thing about being older and heavier is, ONE cupcake won’t kill me. I don’t have to be perfect anymore, just happy. I love my life here. Thank you for your acceptance.